Breath, but I Can Taste You Still; Alive Bellow the Waste
by Leopold
Summary: It's first part of my Draco Malfoy tragic love story. Please read it, cause it's my second fanfic, and I would really like to get reaviews. Even if you flame, I don't care.
1. Default Chapter Title

I don't really know how much time it took me to make Maria allow me to write this, but she wasn't really happy about this. It's like that I don't have right to do this, but it's just that story was too perfect to be left behind. She was going out with Cassius, which was probably the main reason she liked Draco, and Lucius Malfoy. Cassius is blond, with kind of pale face, and pastel blue eyes. He sort has very bad attitude towards the teachers, the same way Maria does. 

In this story, Draco is just like perfect person to do be Cassius. For Maria, well I don't really know that Pansy would be very good for her, so I just need to get the new character who's name will be Ellen. I also had sort of important role in what happened, so there will be Hildegard (my middle name) instead of me.

Breath, but I Can Taste You Still; Alive Bellow the Waste 1

A fine day at Hogwarts for Draco Malfoy, who was just starting new year. This year, he'll at least try not to think about girls. Even if his father was powerful, he still wanted to enter the ministry with good marks. 

He entered the common room, like everyone. He climbed the main staircase, towards his dorminatory. Fallowing Crabbe and Goyle inside, he noticed that bed sheets weren't blue anymore. They were green now. The color of Slytherin.

"Yo, lets go, and check did they change girls' sheets" Blaise Zabini suggested, while Jeff Marls jumped. Both of them looked over to Draco.

"Don't force me do that, cause I may be expelled" Draco said, unwillingly. He really wanted to check the girls' dorminatory.

"C'mon Draco. Who do you expect us to take with us? Perhaps Crabbe and Goyle?" – Both Zabini and Marls laughed. Crabbe and 

Goyle didn't seem to be insulted at all. It was true that only female person they ever talked to, was their mother, and in Crabbe's case, his sister.

"I don't really know. Lets just go, and I could go and ask Pansy does she still have laughing gas" – said Draco, standing up.

"That's you," said Marls. "I need more bills."

They set off towards girls' dorminatory. 

"Hello girls" three of them stuck their heads inside.

"Shove off!" Hildegard yelled at them. Pansy was lying on her bed, while other three were sitting, and chatting.

"What if we don't want to go away?" Sneered Draco.

"You will," said Hildegard, grabbing first pillow she could get, and throwing it at Draco. She hit him on his face.

"Ouch" cried Draco.

"Now we'll have to come in, Draco needs doctor" Zabini Blaise pushed Draco inside, making him land on someone's bed.

"We aren't doctors," snapped Lauren Russell. 

"What the hell are you than?" Marls and Blaise started fight/flirting with four girls. They totally forgot their excuse to come to girls' dorminatory. 

"Do you feel so bed, that you want to spend night in my bed?" Ellen asked, sitting on the bed. 

"I do. I feel so bad, that if I don't sleep in your bed, I will die" Draco said, turning his head towards her.

"You won't die" – Ellen said. It was strange for her. Her friends were having fight with boys, and she was on the bed with Draco Malfoy. 

"I won't. You want to come with me? We can find some private place at Hogwarts, where I could sniff" Draco said, sitting up.

"What's so special about taking drugs?" Ellen asked. 

"We can try it tonight, Ellen" Draco said, placing his hand between her, and bed.

"I'll just go with you, as your friend. Which drug are you going to take?" She asked. 

"I'll see. Lets just go" Draco stood up, and motioned her to come. She fallowed him, as they got out of the room. They left other people have pillow fight inside. 

"What's the password?" Draco asked, as they approached the stonewall. 

"Vicisitudine" she said, as they excited the common room.

They paced very fast, until they got outside the dungeons, than he placed his arm around her. She said nothing. It was sort of cold, so it felt well being hugged.

No one saw them, as they passed. When they got to the seventh floor, Draco stopped. 

"Why are we here?" – She asked, getting away from him. 

"Lets go inside one of those empty, never used classrooms." Draco said, opening the door of one of them. 

"What are we going to do there?" Ellen asked, as Draco pulled her inside.

"Don't we need little privacy?" Draco asked closing the door. 

"Why?" she asked him. 

"I certainly can't do this to you in the girls' dorminatory." Draco said, as pulled her closed, hugging her around her waist. 

"Are you trying to kiss me?" she tried to get away, but he already let go of her, and sat in the chair, where teacher was supposed to sit. 

"After I do this" he got the white residue out, and using the knife made thin rows. 

"Why are you doing that, Draco?" She asked, as she came closer to him. 

"No reason. I just can't stop," he said carelessly, rolling the bill. 

"Are you addicted to drugs?" She placed her left hand on the table.

"I don't know what do you think?" He asked her. Then he bent his head down. The scene was disgusting. The drug-cocaine was slowly vanishing, as he would pass it. When he finished it, he just leaned back in the chair. 

"Come here" he wanted her to sit in his lap. 

She did so. 

"Now, you never took any drug?" He asked, placing his hand on her knee. 

"It's obvious I didn't" she was really annoyed by what he just did.

"Here, take this, and do it. Just don't go too much at once" Draco passed her another bill, pressing his lips slightly on her neck. 

"I don't want to do it" Ellen said, determinately.

"C'mon, just do it. Nothing bad will happen to you. This is just sniffing. I didn't make you take injection" Draco touched her chin, with his tongue. 

"Draco, don't you get it? I don't want to do this," she said. She moved a little, so tip of Draco's tongue was on her neck.

"Don't be a bitch. Do it?" he said, sliding his tongue down the neck, and now tickling her where her collar was. 

"Draco, can you stop that?" she was pretty annoyed.

"No" he said, reaching her arm with his hand.

"Than fine" she got him off, and got out of the room, touching the place where Draco's tongue was.

"I'm sorry for being late, Miss" Draco said as he entered Defense Against the Dark Arts class. It became tradition for DADA teachers to be changed every year. 

The teacher looked at him for a moment, than she said:

"I don't care who you are, or what excuse you have, you will be here on time."

Draco stared at her. Her hair was dyed blond, and she was wearing stupid dress with princess shoes. 

"You can sit down, beside that young lady, over there" she said pointing him to sit beside Ellen, in the back row. 

Draco passed Harry, and his friends. It was stupid that they had to have also DADA lessons with Gryffindors. 

As he sat beside Ellen, she just moved her backpack from the chair where Draco was supposed to be sitting, and looked away. 

"Now. My name is Mme Willows. I'll be your DADA teacher…" she started.

"Why were you such a bitch last night Ellen?" Draco asked quietly, not even looking at her.

"You could just tell me that you like to keep my tongue in your mouth, instead of your neck" Draco said again, when he realized that she doesn't want to speak to him. 

"Draco, I went away, cause you were trying to make me take drugs. It doesn't have to do with your tongue. Anyways, the thing you did… well it felt sort of sexy, you know…" She said, placing her hand on her neck. 

"Ooh… want me to do it again? I will do it right now, here." Draco said, coming closer to her.

"No not here. Anyways, you don't really have to do it, it's not that we are going out, or something?" She said.

"Would you two like to finish your chat outside?" Mme Willows smacked the table, with her fist. 

"We were just discussing the subject Miss" Draco was trying to find excuse. 

"Listen to me, you young man, or you will behave, or I will be sending you to the office (I don't think there's such a thing at Hogwarts, but I just don't think that story could work without the office)" she said.

"We were behaving ourselves, you were the one that was yelling at us" Ellen talked back to the teacher, as she always does.

"Excuse me" Mme Willows was terrified. 

"Well excusez-moi (did I spell this right?) Madam, but you were yelling at us," Draco snapped at her.

"I am disgusted. Now, I don't want to have problems with you anymore, so please be kind. Be polite," she said. 

Ellen and Draco wanted to fall on the ground. It was so funny. But they knew that it wouldn't end up very good.

"Pu Ellen, he is disgusting. You were really sitting in his lap, and you let him touch your neck? With his tongue, after he sniffed?" Hildegard was sickened, when Ellen told her about last night. 

"Don't say that. It felt good. You know what? Tonight, I will ask him to stay in the common room with me. Anyways, why are we here, alone outside? Why don't we all go behind, where all of them are?" Ellen asked.

"You see that's not that bad idea. Lets go" Hildegard said, and they went behind the school. 

Draco, Pansy, Millicent, Blaise, and Jeff were there smoking. 

"Hey whatzup?" Hildegard asked as they sit on the grass, beside them. They were making a circle now. 

"Nothin'. Want one?" Draco asked, placing a box of cigarettes in front of their noses.

"No" Ellen said automatically. 

Hildegard sighed, and just said:

"No, I hate cigarettes."

"What ever. I'll go with this," said Draco, taking hashish out. 

"You will be high, Draco" said Blaise. 

"He is always high," said Millicent.

"Shudup" retorted Draco.

He lit one, and looked at Ellen who was sitting right beside him. 

"Why are you staring at me?" Draco asked her.

Ellen looked at him.

"You are the one that was staring at me all the time," Ellen snapped at him. 

"Want one?" He got another roll. 

"No, thanks" she said, and half lay on the grass, supporting with her elbow. 

"C'mon" said Draco, who was in the same position as she was. He moved closer towards her.

"I don't want to be addicted on drugs like you are" she said, as Draco moved hair from her face.

"But you want _me_, don't me?" Draco moved even closer. 

"I'm not sure" she placed her hand, over his, which was on her face. 

"Want me to make you sure?" Draco said, as he placed the roll of hashish in front of her nose. 

"Is this going to make me addicted?" She said, taking the hashish in her hand. 

Draco blew smoke on her, and than he said:

"This is pathetic. I'm sure it won't."

"Draco…" she gulped.

"C'mon, we don't have to fight" Draco sneered. 

She sighed. It wasn't clear did she sigh to show him that she have beaten him up, and she doesn't want to do it; or to show him that he won, cause Draco forced roll in her mouth, and lit it with his own one. 

"Ellen, why did you…" Hildegard asked sternly.

"And what if she did it? Just shut your mouth" Draco snarled at her. 

"Don't be so harsh on her Draco." Said Pansy. She was little annoyed cause Draco was giving all his attention to Ellen. 

"I'm not," Draco said, "And anyways, you have no right to be mad at me, Hildegard. She tried it herself."

"You were always so sick" Hildegard snapped at him. 

"How are we going there, Ellen?" Draco asked her, as she started smoking. 

Ellen said nothing. She just finished her hashish, and than they all had to go somewhere, when they were sure that that they weren't high anymore. 

Ellen and Hildegard went to take walk over the Hogwarts grounds. 

"Hildegard" Ellen said slowly.

"Yes" she said.

"What do you think about Draco?" She asked her slowly. 

"He is a sick. He is… I just hate him," Hildegard said, not even looking at her best friend. 

"Pity, cause he is really hot."

"He is not hot" Hildegard was disgusted. "He is ugly, and he could try getting some tan, and perhaps sleep. Look at his eye bags!"

"Have your own opinion. Fine with me." Ellen looked away. 

"You like him don't you?" Asked Hildegard.

"Lets go back inside" said Ellen, and went away.

Ellen was sitting in the common room, doing the homework. Draco just came back from dinner.

"Draco!" She yelled over the common room. Draco heard her.

"What" he called back.

"Com'ere" she yelled, and he did so.

"What do you need?" He asked, as he sat in one of the chairs beside Ellen. 

"Do you want to know what I need, or why did I call you?" She asked, closing the book. 

"Both" Draco moved his chair closer to hers.

"You asked for it. I called you to ask you do you want to stay in the common room, until the late in the night with me. You know, we can have some fun alone. And when you get there, I will show you what I need" she said, moving her hair backwards. 

"If it's what you need…" Draco started. 

"Draco, how come you are so hot?" She asked him.

"I don't know" Draco got his arm around her neck, and got so close that his mouth was about a centimeter away from hers. 

"Draco" she asked him, just about when he wanted to kiss her. 

"What" Draco answered resentfully.

"There are some kids here, you know that?" She said, showing him a Slythierin first year boy, who went red from staring at two of them. 

"What are you staring at, you brat?" Draco asked the kid. 

"Nothing" the first year managed to utter.

"Than fuck off," Draco snapped at him. It was a moment of second for the kid to run away from the table.

"We don't want to do this in front of everyone, do we?" Ellen asked him.

"I would rather have you on my own."

"So what were you planning to do?" Draco said, as he sat on the couch, beside her, in front of the fire. They were totally alone now. 

"What did you want to do?" she asked him, turning side to him. 

Draco just drew a bag, with a white powder inside. 

"Draco…" She uttered. 

"Ellen, I know that… But just relax, and don't fuss. You don't know how better I feel after I take this" Draco said, as he pulled a table closer. 

"You are really ruining your life, Draco," she said.

"Stop, you are starting to sound just like my father. But he has the right to tell me that. He knows, but he doesn't care," Draco said, moving his index threateningly in front of her nose. 

"Do what ever you want to do," she said.

Draco already spread C all over the table, and lit the cigarette. She was staring at him all the time.

"Go ahead, blow yourself. I intended not to take too much, so I could spend my night with you, but this is just too much for me. I want you to have some," he said, pressing the cigarette under her nose.

There was a long silence, where their eyes met. His gray and cold eyes met hers dark and mysterious. It was moment of lucidity. She won't run away from him, like she did last night, but she knew that drugs were never good. 

"I don't want to," she finally said. "You do it."

Draco just laughed cynically.

"There's nothing funny," she snapped at him. 

He turned around, and started doing it. This time there was just one single row of cocaine, which can't affect really much. 

She was staring at him. What would happen if someone would come in? Well if it was one of their seventh year friends, it would be okay. But perhaps Professor Snape.

Draco just leaned back in the chair, as he finished his job. 

"If you think to sit like that whole night, I will go to sleep," she said. 

Draco laughed again, even more cynically. 

"How come I never gave you much attention before, Ellen?" Draco asked, as he turned to face her. His eyes were red now. 

"You were too busy with going out with two girls at the same time," she said little angrily.

"You are interesting," he said, as he hugged her, and pressed her head on his chest. 

She said nothing, just buried her face in his robes. 

"So how do you feel?" She finally asked him.

"High" Draco sneered.

"Draco."

"Yes", he answered, as she placed her arm around his waist. 

"Want me to play a song for you?" She asked, jerking her head, so she was able to see an old pianoforte in the corner of the common room. 

"You re sick, but go ahead. I am available" Draco said, moving his arm, letting her go. 

She got up, and as she reached the instrument, she followed Draco with her stare. He didn't look at her at all. He was looking at the fire. Ellen opened the dusty lid, and sit on the chair. 

Draco finally turned around. 

She placed her fingers on the keys, and played first chord. It was forte, and it was mix of minor, and major accords. It sounded strange.

**_Pandora, Pandora's AquariumShe dives for shells with her nautical nunsAnd thought you thought, you never tellPandora, Pandora's AquariumI'm not asking you to believe in meBoy I'm not that confused, I'm not your PersephoneFoam can be dangerous with tape across my mouthThis things you used to do, I never asked you howLine me up in single file with all your grievancesBreath but I can taste you still, alive bellow the waste…_**

**_ _**

Draco approached her, and sat on the chair beside her. Now she found her self between him, and the edge of the chair. She has chosen him, of course.

Choosing him meant also finding yourself in his arms. Ellen stopped playing the instrument, and did what he did. She hugged him. 

"Ellen, do you want to go out with me?" He asked her, moving her face towards him. Again, she found her mouth a centimeter away from his.

"Yes" she said slowly. 

He kissed her, than. It was strange feeling. After that much flirting, in just one day, it was kind of normal.

"Hildegard, wake up" Ellen was trying to wake Hildegard up. 

"What the hell? It's five in the morning" Hildegard opened her eyes. 

"I don't care. I know that you want to know everything that happened" she was talking very quickly. 

"Actually, _no_. I'll know when you get your test results that you are pregnant, and HIV positive." She said, rubbing her eyes. 

"Shut up. Now, what do you want to know?" Ellen was so excited to tell her everything. 

"Nothing. How come you are awake at this time? You slept just few hours?" Hildegard was finally sitting up in her bed. 

"I didn't sleep at all. I stayed awake all night, and I drunk coffee."

"Jesus" Leopold slapped herself on her forehead. 

"And I'll drink it whole day, so I can stay awake" she said. 

"What did you do whole night?" Hildegard asked her, confused. 

"Spent with Draco," she said.

"Wonderful. So now there are already two people for rehabilitation center." Hildegard asked her, sarcastically.

"We didn't do drugs," Ellen snapped. 

"Than you had sex without condom. So now you are pregnant, and you will name your child after the father."

"Shut up. We didn't have sex. We just kissed, and he asked me out" she said, trying to come down Hildegard. 

"And you, stupid goose, said automatically yes. Is only point of your going out, who will dump whom first, in front of the whole school."

"I said yes. What do you care, you would say the same" Ellen snarled. 

"What? First, I would vomit on him, even if he would try to touch me. He is full of drugs, can't you see it?" Hildegard shouted so loud that it was heard all over the dorminatory.

"Never mind. We'll talk tomorrow" Ellen exited the room.

Next day, Draco got to the Great Hall to have a breakfast. He came in, and sat for the Slytherin table. He sat just beside Ellen. 

"I suppose that it would be nice to hear 'Good morning' from you," Draco said, as he dropped on the chair beside her. He looked awful. 

"Good morning" she replied. She almost looked as bad as he did, but she at least didn't take any drug last night. 

They spent rest of their meal in silence. 

Than they got up, and headed towards their next class. They had Care of Magical Creatures with Gryffindors. They decided to wait on the stairs, cause they were too early. All of their friends were just right now about to start their breakfast. 

"This is fun," Ellen said, as she sat on the stair. 

"Really, really fun." Draco repeated sarcastically after her. He seated himself right beside her, placing his arm around her. 

"So what do you want to do?" She asked him. 

"You really want to know?" Draco narrowed his eyes.

"Yes," she sneered. 

"Not here, and not now." Draco said. 

"Draco," she asked him, placing his hand in his hair.

"Umh" Draco answered.

"Why don't you spike our hair?" She asked him, messing his perfectly tidy and flat hair on purpose. 

"I don't know."

"Oh, c'mon. You'll look great," she said.

"I thought I already do?" Draco asked. 

"You do, but I think that you would look better with your hair spiked." 

"It's not possible to look better than this" Draco sneered. 

"Please" she begged. 

Draco just sighed. All of his friends have already done so. Why couldn't he? He already looks great, but with his hair. But now he is going out with her, but he won't mind if girls still look at him as a God. 

"Fine, but I need something from you, too."

"I'm not doing any drugs," she said. 

"No you don't have to. Tonight I want to try some smack, but I need someone to be with me. I know that first time things can go pretty wrong, so I need you to be with me. We will do it in the boys' washroom on the second floor, and no one will be there." Draco was saying, as he tried to fix his hair. 

"Fine, I would anyways go with you" she said. 

"I'll do it now" Draco said, as he stood up, and run inside.

Ellen just stayed there. When Hildegard came, she told her all about what just happened. 

"Ellen, you won't be alone there with him." She said, as they were walking towards Hagrid's hut, with three other Slytherins. 

"You are not coming with us," Ellen snapped at her. 

"You won't make me, or I'm going straight to the headmaster."

"Fine, if you want to" she said sulkily.

Draco arrived in the middle of the class, with his hair spiked. Everybody looked at him, as he reached them. 

"Why are you late, Draco Malfoy?" Hagrid asked him, as he got his hands out of unicorn dung. 

"Something important happened" Draco lay. He could see that all girls are staring at him. Even Hermione, who never knew main difference between a boy and a girl, was looking with her open mouth. 

"Yeah, perhaps spiking your hair is _really_ important" Hildegard said loud. Ellen elbowed her.

"Is it true, were you late just because you were spiking your hair?" Hagrid asked as he cleared his hands from the shit. 

"Yes" Draco answered as tough he was saying that for whole hour. 

"That's not really an excuse to be late." Hagrid growled. 

"He missed nothing. Draco the only thing we did, was how to clean the unicorns' shit" Ellen said. 

"Fine Malfoy, but this is your last time you are late," Hagrid said. 

"Sure" Draco muttered for himself, as he took a place between Hildegard and Ellen, knocking Hildegard away. 

Ellen just turned around to face him. It was true that he was the best looking guy in the school, even with his normal/usual hairstyle, but he was so hot now. 

"Can I touch it?" She asked him. 

Draco nodded with his head.

"It's sharp," she said. 

"Be careful not to cut your hand" Draco sneered, as she touched it. 

"Ooh, can I touch it?" Lavender asked, as she was staring at them all the time. 

"No" Draco said, sharply. 

"Can I touch it?" Pansy Parkinson asked. 

"You can" Draco said. 

Pansy did the same thing. 

"Do you want to touch it?" Draco sneered at Hildegard, who was mad at him. 

"No, I don't want to have my hand all in hair gel," she snarled. 

The rest of the class was monotone.

Lavender and Parvati were staring all the time at Draco, with hunger in their eyes. Hermione would occasionally give him dirty look _'This is class, not fashion show'_. Harry, Ron, Seamus, Dean, and Neville were also staring at Draco, maliciously. How big hero Harry was, he couldn't beat Draco in one thing: looking. He was still short and skinny, with his greasy hair. All Slytherin girls were around Draco, giggling, and asking to touch his hair. At least they were like that, until he placed his arm around Ellen, when they sort of backed up. 

"What's up with you all?"Hagrid yelled when he realized that even Hermione is not listening to his monotone, and boring talk.

"Draco is attracting all negative attention, Sir" Harry and Ron couldn't wait to tell Hagrid. 

"Draco Malfoy, what are you doing? It's class not chat room." Hagrid growled at Draco, who turned around to him. 

"We were just discussing how we love your class" Draco sneered.

"Or perhaps how to flirt better" Lavender snapped. She was hurt cause Draco let every other girl touch his hair, except her, that asked.

"Shut up" Draco sneered at her. 

"I would give you all detention, but it's the end of the class." Hagrid said unpleasantly.

The Slytherins juts got their bags, and got away, while Gryffindors stayed to help Hagrid clean the unicorn shit.

"Be quiet, or Filch may hear us," Draco snapped in whisper at Hildegard, who was cursing him, all the way to the second floor. 

They got inside the boys' washroom on second floor. It looked almost alike girls', but it had that things, which I can't remember this very moment how are called. 

"So what are we going to do here?" Hildegard asked them. 

"As far as I can see, I can die, and you won't even notice I'm dead," Draco said sardonically.

"Good for you. I though that you are totally stupid." Hildegard retorted. 

"Shut up, both of you" Ellen yelled. 

Draco said nothing, just took his wand out, and conjured a glass in front of him. 

He kneeled. Ellen just sat in the corner, while Hildegard stayed in her standing position, with arms folded. 

"I'm trying pure heroin now, by sniffing." Draco said a she drew a bag filled with white powder. 

"Did you know that there's largest per cent of people that died from heroin overdose, on their first try?" Hildegard sneered ironically.

"Yes" Draco replied, smiling. 

Ellen just buried her face in her hands.

When he finished his dividing, he started sniffing it. Hildegard was looking at him, smirking, and waiting the time when he will drop dead on the floor. Ellen was still staring at her hands. After just first row, Draco almost screamed. 

Ellen looked up, and Hildegard smiled triumphantly, as tough she made this happen. Draco's nose was bleeding.

When she saw him, Ellen quickly got up, and run towards Draco. Hildegard just lazily came closer. 

Ellen helped Draco get to the wall, where he sat, and she sat beside him. Hildegard was in front of them. 

"Draco, are you fine?" Ellen asked him, as he wiped his blood. 

"I guess so," he said slowly. 

"I guess it was just too much for poor Draco" Hildegard sneered, but Ellen pierced her, with her stare. 

"Why to me?" Draco asked. 

"Draco, you know that this can happen to anyone. When you were buying heroin, you knew that first time everything could go wrong. That it can be a wonderful feeling, or just this what happened to you. But maybe next time it will be fine" Ellen told him. 

"So you are giving him courage to do this again," Hildegard snarled. 

"Shut up Hildegard," said Draco. 

Ellen was just staring at Draco. He was sweating, and seemed very sick. 

"Should we go to the headmaster?" Hildegard asked.

"No this will pass." Ellen said. 

Draco was just sitting there, with his head backward, and his bloody hands on the floor. 

Suddenly he stood up, and got to the toilet. Ellen fallowed him. He got there, bent his head over, and started vomiting. Ellen just sat beside him, and her hand was on his back. 

When he stopped, he sat there, and stared at her. 

For all that time Hildegard was outside the cubicle, trying to make the glass vanish. 

Draco placed his hand on her face. Ellen looked down. He moved closer to her. 

"Draco" she said slowly " I think I would die if something would happed to you."

Draco understood the thing she said, cause he placed in his arms, and said:

"I love you."

((((T(W(O(((M(O(N(T(T(H(S(((L(A(T(E(R((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( 

It was love. Even if no one believed, Ellen and Draco still loved each other, but no one knew. They never said that in front of everyone, or to each other. The simple reason was: they knew that already. It was just matter of the time when they'll have to realize that they are just too much in love. And it happened, but in hard way. 

Draco kept taking drugs, smoking, and occasionally drinking. Ellen tried all three of those, but the only thing that she could do sometimes was to drink. 

One night, in the Slytherin common room, after everyone went to sleep, they stayed there alone. They always did so. It was biggest problem cause they never had any privacy. Draco was planning to invite her to stay over the Christmas holydays at his house. He already talked to his father, and he agreed that she could come over. Lucius never meet Ellen, bur he knew her parents pretty well. 

"Ellen, would you mind getting the cigarettes out of my trench coat?" Draco said, as he drunk one more glass of whisky. 

"Draco you know that I hate when someone smokes" Ellen said. She was sitting in his lap, and also drinking whisky. 

"I won't smoke it, I just need it." Draco said. "Oh never mind. I'll just inject." 

"Draco, can't you survive even one night without drugs?" Ellen asked, cause she was annoyed. 

"Sure I can. Last two nights I didn't have anything. Now, I want something strong like heroin."

"You promised me you won't use it anymore" she snapped at him. 

"Just tonight" Draco was justifying himself. 

"Remember what happened last time?" she asked him.

"I was sick. But you yourself told me that usually happen when you do it for first time. It's now my second. And what ever, I'll infuse it this time."

"Sure you will, but without me" she said, and went away.

The End of the Part 1

So this is just end of first time. This is real story, and lots of these things, Maria told me, or I was just there. Please review.

It's true that I had horrible relationships with Cassius, and we hated each other. By the end of the story we'll keep "killing" each other, like we do in the real world. 

Maria's Personal Review on the Story:

I'm not saying that I'm happy you wrote this, but I'm sure you wouldn't let me live if you didn't. 

The whole thing that ever happened was really disgusting. It really was. The part when Cassius was trying heroin for first time happed at his house, in his bathroom. Both Leopold and me were there. I don't know how she made us keep her there. Cassius always seemed to hate him, and she hated him. And it really was that way. He vomited, and his nose was bleeding. It is sort of strange for thirteen yours old girl to see her boyfriend, who is also thirteen doing it, especially if you love him. 


	2. Default Chapter Title

This is second part. I hope you liked the colors I added I know it's hard to read, but they are like chapters labels. This time I'm just using ones that are easy to read. This part may be really interesting. I know that I didn't see or hear any of that stuff, but Maria told me everything about it. 

Last name Helferstorfer is pronounced it Hell-pherp-sh-tor-pher

And by the way about my grammar: I'm not native English speaker. I speak English perfectly with no accent, but I can't spot mistake easily in the written work, so you will have to deal with it.

Breath, but I Can Taste You Still; Alive Bellow the Waste 2

Draco looked in the sky again. It was starry one. He could see every star, and recognize it. There was Big Dipper and Small Dipper, and there was Orion. Pegasus and Andromeda…

What about now? He took no drug, even if he was smoking, but she got away. And he was outside. What if someone comes, he could get expelled. His record was pretty heavy by now. And what to do?

Dump her? Maybe it would be fastest, easiest and best way out. Yes easiest. It's not always point of doing the easiest thing, when you want to solve the problem. 

Draco threw his cigarette in one of the lawn bushes, and went to sleep.

Next day, they didn't meet during the breakfast. Ellen's first class was Ancient Ruins, while Draco had Divination. Lunch was next. They finally met in the Great Hall. 

Draco approached herfrom behind. She turned around, and almost smiled. The reason for almost was Draco's somber look. 

"Draco" she asked him. 

"Ellen, I need to talk to you," he said. Other all looked at them. 

"What?" She asked him, annoyed. 

Draco sighed. He didn't want to do this. There was no reason for it. But still, she can't love him, she just can't.

"I want to brake up with you" Draco finally said. He didn't like doing this to her. Everyone around fallowed the action with audible "Ooh".

"You want to brake up with me?" She repeated, in disbelief. 

Draco nodded with his head. 

"What the fuck (To remind you that story is rated PG13)? You are dumping me?"

Draco again, was unable to talk. He just nodded with his head.

"I can't believe. Anyways I am the one that should dump you." She said.

"Ellen, look" he tried to explain. 

"What? If you are under the…"

"Ellen, I'm perfectly normal. I took nothing…"

"Lets say that for last night" she snarled at him.

"When you run away, hah?" Now Draco started getting mad at her.

For all that time, people were staring at them. They were regretting the ones that are not there; cause the fight was quite interesting. 

"Maybe yes. You don't love me at all, if you do, you wouldn't do this to me. And you would get off drugs" she snapped at him. Word 'love' was followed by 'Ooh'.

"I do love you, but just don't make me choose between you, and that, cause you may disappoint" Draco said. 

"Wonderful, so now you are telling me that I'm not important to you" she sneered. She did wrong thing, cause she really hurt Draco. He swung his hand, and hit her. Again everyone made the situation more exciting by 'Ooh'. 

Ellen's head was twisted, and hair all over the face. She slowly turned around to face Draco, wiping the blood from her mouth. Draco slapped her really hard. 

But he felt sorry. He shouldn't do that. He should just tell her something insulting, not harm her. 

"You were important to me, Draco Malfoy," she said slowly.

Draco just looked at her. Everyone was silent now, waiting for Draco's reaction.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly, but everyone understood. 

Ellen tried to say something alike 'You will be fucken sorry', but was unable cause at the same moment Dumbledore came, closely fallowed by McGonagall and Snape.

"For God's name" was McGonagall's reaction.

They were both sent to the headmaster's office, and they were waiting silently for their parents to come. At the same time students that witnessed the fight, were telling everything to the headmaster. 

Ellen was sitting a meter away from Draco. Dumbledore decided that he should leave them alone in the room. He was sure that there would be no more harm. Well at least from Draco. 

"I hate you," she said through her teeth. 

"Pardon me," Draco raised his head from his hands. 

"You heard it well," she snapped at him. Even if she had no tears in her yes, they were still crimson. 

They said nothing else, until the headmaster came in, followed by their fathers'. 

Mr Malfoy got to his son, and stared at him. Mr Helferstorfer did nothing except staring around the room. 

"Would you please sit down?" Dumbledore asked both of them, cause none of them seemed in that kind of mood. 

They reluctantly sat down. 

"Do you know what happened?" Dumbledore asked them. 

"No" Mr Malfoy finally said, cause Mr Helferstorfer seemed not in mood for talking. 

"Ellen, do you want to tell your father, and Mr Malfoy what happened?" Dumbledore suggested. 

"Why don't he do that" she said. 

Mr Helferstorfer looked up, as tough he knew that his daughter would say that. 

"Cause she knew better" Draco said it for himself, but everyone heard it.

"Think what you want" she had to talk back. 

Dumbledore just sighed, looking at two of them fighting, and at their fathers that were staring coldly at their children. 

"Mr Malfoy, would you please tell what happened?" Dumbledore tried again.

Draco didn't want to. Albus Dumbledore had to deal with them, until he lost his nerves, and told himself what he heard. 

"So what do you expect me to do?" Mr Helferstorfer asked.

"I don't know. You are her father." Said Dumbledore. 

"Just don't let me see him again," Ellen said.

"Ellen, I don't want you coming to me after, telling me how you hate me cause I don't let you see him." Mr Helferstorfer had point. 

"Whatever. Just, it's that, not that he hit me. It doesn't hurt as physical pain. It hurts me." She looked straight in Draco's eyes, but he avoided her. 

"Fine, I'm not letting you talk or be close to him" Mr Helferstorfer said; now avoiding Mr Malfoy's eyes.

"Now you Draco." Dumbledore started. 

Draco just frowned, and said nothing.

"I don't want to say this, but consider yourself expelled" Albus Dumbledore said.

"What?" Ellen protested. She was the only one. Lucius Malfoy wanted to stay silent; Draco was totally unsurprised; while her father was totally uninterested in what's happening. 

"Pardon me" Dumbledore asked politely, don't believing his eyes. 

"Why are you kicking him out?" She asked. 

"Ellen" Draco said. He sounded very unhappy. 

"I'm afraid that if he hit you, is enough for his expulsion." Dumbledore said. 

"But he hit me, not you. Why are you doing it to him?" Ellen jumped from her chair. 

"Ellen" her father said. 

"What?" She asked, pretty annoyed. 

"Sit down" he said calmly. 

She obeyed him. 

"Ellen, it's a law, and you can't go against it" Dumbledore said slowly. 

"What about it? I don't want him to be expelled, is it your problem. He hit me, and I don't care. And now you are kicking him out?" Ellen was trying. 

For all that time Mr Malfoy was trying to avoid Mr Helferstorfer's eyes. He felt sort of ashamed. He knew that he himself could do nothing to get his son in the school, after the scandal in the newspaper. And Ellen was about to save Draco from expulsion. 

"Ellen, shut up. Why are you doing this for me?" Draco asked her. "You know I'm a bastard, but I don't get it."

"Cause, cause…" She stayed wordless. She didn't believe how stupid was Draco being. "You just don't get it, do you?"

She was mad at him now. 

"Miss Helferstorfer and Mr Malfoy would you please go out for a moment, while I talk to your fathers?" Dumbledore asked. 

Draco silently got up, and went outside. Ellen fallowed him, but she stormed, slamming the door behind. 

They went outside it, and now were in the hall, alone. Draco was looking out of the window, while Ellen was standing, leaning on the wall, and her arms folded. 

"Why did you do it Ellen? I want to know why didn't you want me to be expelled?" Draco asked, as he approached her.

Her head was down, and she didn't seem to want to answer him at all. Draco, with his hand raised her head, gently. 

She stared at him. There was no sign of any emotion on her face. She was cold. But she wasn't the only one. Draco was also cold. 

"You are stupid," she said silently.

"I just want to know, Ellen" Draco asked her again, and this time he patted her face with his hand. 

"I thought you already do. I thought it was clear to you," Ellen told him, moving her hand upwards. She seemed like she wanted to touch his, now spiked hair, but she didn't have enough strength. 

"I can't think now."

Ellen's hand was in the air, until she moved it; to she was slightly touching his forehead. Draco just scrawled. 

"I love you," she muttered quietly.

Draco thought inside his head how big moron he is. She loved him all this time, and he knew that, but he was too obsessed to realize it. He also loved her. He told her once. 

"I do too" Draco said, but as the big door the Gargoyle opened, it meant for them to come back

Draco wasn't expelled. But he wasn't aloud to speak or come nearby Ellen at all. 

Ellen was sad. She felt sorry for Draco. Every time she would see him, she wanted to come to him, hug him, and tell him that she loves him. She didn't come to him, but every time she saw him she would mutter silently 'I love you, Draco' so no one would hear.

Draco kept taking drugs. Even if he could, he would not stop. He became seriously addicted now. He still smoked. 

One day, during the lunch hour, none of them seemed to want to eat. Draco was smoking outside, behind the school, and Ellen didn't want to stay inside the castle. She went outside, and walked around the school pointlessly. 

Than, after a corner she bumped into Draco. He was there. He looked down at her, as she looked at him. 

"Hello Draco" was the smartest thing she was able to say. 

"Hello" Draco replied, liting another cigarette. 

They stared t each other for another moment. 

"You are still smoking?" she asked, looking at him. 

He nodded with his head. 

"Why?"

"Why do you care?" Draco asked, knowing in his head that he was rude. 

"I thought I told you that," she answered, in soft tone. 

'Now what' Draco asked himself. He felt like total moron now. He regretted cause he was so offensive.

"I'm sorry" he apologized. 

She looked over to the lake.

"I'm not supposed to talk to you, or to come near you" Draco said. 

"You aren't, but I am. I can talk to you, and be close to you." She said.

"What about your father? Didn't he prohibit you to see me?" Draco sneered sarcastically. 

"You heard very good what he said in front of Dumbledore. He doesn't mind if I am still seeing you. It was just that he was supossed to anything." 

"And so you?" Draco asked, as he came closer to her. She was pretty close to him now. He was tall, but not exactly much taller than Ellen, maybe ten centimeters or so. But her mouth was right under his. He never had to bend when he was kissing her. That was probably the thing that he liked. 

"What?"

"Do you mind being close to me, and talking to me?" Draco moved her hair behind her ear. 

"No" Ellen said. 

"Well good" Draco said pointlessly. 

"What is good?" Ellen asked, aggravated by Draco's vision of things.

Draco just shook his head. 

"Draco you are on drugs. You have enough money; you will always have enough to buy. But you will end in the rehabilitation center, of maybe even die" Ellen started saying, and she pressed her head on Draco's shoulder. Draco just placed his arms around her. He knew that he had to do that. And he wanted to do that for all this time. 

"Ellen" Draco said as he allowed her to bury her head in his neck. "I am truly sorry cause I hit you."

Draco said, as he felt her lips on his neck. He shuffled his arms around her, hugging her ever tighter.

"No, Draco I am the one that should be sorry for saying lay. I know it's not true that you don't care for me. I care for you," she said. 

"You mean to me something, Ellen Helferstorfer. You do" Draco kissed her hair, and could feel her kissing his neck. 

He raised her haad, with his hand; and kissed her. 

"I love you Draco," she said, as she returned in the former position, but this time she also had her arms around him. 

"I love you, too Ellen," Draco said the same thing, leaning his head over hers. 

After a minute they got off each other, as Draco lit another cigarette. He asked Ellen if she'd like one. Unexpectedly she accepted it. She also lit it, on his, and smoked.

Their next class was DADA. Their teacher was awful. They all hated Mme Willows. The number of her kicking Ellen or Draco out of class was countless (This is really true. In our high school, there are no French classes without Maria getting into conflict with the teacher, and talking back to her. She usually gets kicked our.)

The students came inside the classroom, and sat where they were always sitting. Draco didn't sit beside Ellen anymore. He was moved to another part of classroom. He was sitting in first row, with Hermione. 

Sitting with Hermione was nothing else than pure boredom. Everyone else was fine. When he was still going out with Ellen, they had fun cause they were talking whole class. Pansy was his good friend, and they were also talking. With Crabbe and Goyle was also fine cause he could spend whole class talking just about himself, and they would listen. He used to friend with them when he was younger, but they were just too stupid. 

She entered the classroom, and the chatter stopped. As she sat in her chair, everyone rolled with their eyes. Even Hermione wasn't really warm with her. 

She started going around her notes, as the class stared at her. 

"Mme Willows" Ellen called.   
  


"Yes" she raised her ugly head. "What do you want?"

Whole class looked at Ellen.

"I was wondering if you could return Draco to sit with me?" Ellen asked, as whole class, featuring Draco himself asked why is she doing. 

"That's impossible." She said, and returned to her papers. 

Ellen stood up. 

"How do you mean 'That's impossible'?" Ellen asked. 

"Ellen, sit down" Draco said, and whole class now stared at him. 

"Young lady, your parents prohibited you from seeing him, or talking." Mme Willows said in her so-called stern voice. 

"If they prohibited seeing me, what's your problem with that?" Ellen asked. 

"Oh Ellen, don't do that. He is not worth that" Hildegard told her. 

"Shut up Bach (Can't help it. Have to use my real last name.)," Draco's voice was heard from the other part of the classroom. 

"That's right, for one time in your life, you are right Back (That's the fucken way she was pronouncing my last name. Hate her.)…"

"It's Ba-h" Hildegard corrected her, but she didn't seem to care.

"…he really isn't worth that." She said in her insulting voice. 

"What the hell?" Draco also stood up. 

"You just insulted him," Ellen said. 

"And you won't order me where to sit. No other teacher does that, just you. I will sit where I want" Draco said, and stood up. He moved to another part of the room, just beside Ellen.

Ellen sat down, smirking. Pansy was smiling, cause she also hated the teacher. At the start she was little jealous on Ellen, but after she was happy for him. 

"I never saw this in my whole career" she said, and slammed the binder. "Let it be that way. But if I see any kind of conflict, I'm going straight to the headmaster."

Draco looked at Ellen. He smiled. Ellen also smiled when she saw him smiling. 

"What is that? Don't stare at them," Mme Willows yelled, cause whole class seemed to stare at Ellen and Draco, instead the blackboard. 

"Ellen, are you coming to my manor over the Christmas Holydays?" Draco asked her after the class, as they were walking towards the Potions, fallowed by Gryffindors. 

"I can't," she said. "I have to go, and visit some of my relatives."

"Ooh." Draco nodded with his head, and placed his arm around her.

The end of the part 2

This part truly was shorter than first one, but it's just because I didn't have anything else to say. Next one will hopefully be longer, and Maria will help me write it. She won't help me with grammar, cause hers is worse than mine. I just don't get it. She also isn't native English speaker, but she is unable to speak Serbian, her other language without using half English. 


	3. Default Chapter Title

A maybe final third part, I'll still have to see. Cassius is coming back to the school tomorrow. It's sort of strange now. I think that Maria and him may have some classes together, cause I'm sure he will take everything Academic as she does. 

So in this part is after, and what will happen tomorrow. I don't really think that it will last without conflict. I know Maria, and she can't wait to whole school talk about her. She will probably do something. And also for him. Even if it's their personal life, and it may hurt, they would enjoy if whole school would again talk about two of them. 

By the way, about something. I really, truly hate Cassius, and he hates me. Maybe this is too harsh, I know that Maria loves him, but I wouldn't be sad if he'd died. I really hate him.

Breath, but I Can Taste You Still; Alive Bellow the Waste 3

So after the classes they thought that it might be a good idea if they would lose somewhere, and be alone. 

During the potions, Snape didn't ask them at all why are talking to each other, and behave like they did before. It was just like before. 

After the Potions they decided to go to the common room, cause they knew they would be alone there. It was match Gryffindor-Slytherin. This year, everything was screwed up, cause of some Ministry Restriction law, so all Quidditch matches were changer their date of playing. Draco wasn't in the team anymore. Okay I know that you aren't a baby, and you are 13 or above (To remind you that this story is rated PG13), but you should know by now that you can't practice sport, and take drug or smoke. 

"We are alone again," said Ellen, as they came into the empty common room. 

"Is it bad?" Draco asked. 

"No." She said, and sat for pianoforte. 

"Play something for me." Draco said, as he approached her, and opened the lid for her. 

"Like what?" She wondered.

"Beethoven," Draco suggested, as he sat beside her. 

"No, not him. He is my mortal enemy," she said resentfully. 

"Anything," Draco said. 

"Fine," she said, and started playing her favorite Mokranjac (Oh, dear I was never sure how she played him, cause he never actually composed anything, just have written down Serbian folk songs. But she succeed to play Goldberg Variations on the tenor sax.). 

Draco was staring at her. 

After the first song, Draco was bored, and decided to do something fun. He suddenly hugged her, and started kissing her. She was firstly surprised, and stunned, than she did the same. 

I'm not very good in love/sex scenes description, so you will have to use your imagination here.

The Christmas holydays weren't so hard for any of them. They had their own fun. 

When Ellen was returning, she hoped to be with Draco in the train, but she couldn't find him. She hadn't either seen him during the comeback feast. 

Next day during the breakfast, she came and sat for the Slytherin table, beside Hildegard and Jeff Marls. Jeff didn't really seem very happy, while Hildegard was smiling. But when she saw Ellen, Hildegard stopped. 

"Where is Draco?" Ellen asked, as she was pouring milk in her coffee. Believe me this usually wakes very long cause she drinks more milk in the coffee than coffee itself. 

Hildegard sighed, and looked over at Jeff for an answer. He just looked away, like he wanted to say 'Well you are her best friend, you tell her.'

"What?" Ellen asked, as she saw Hildegard. 

"Draco is in therapy center for drugs, the overdose," Hildegard said, as she looked away from her. 

"It's stupid to say that I can't believe it, cause this is pretty believable. What did he take?" Ellen was calm. She knew very well that this can happed any time. 

"He injected too much heroin. I am sorry." Jeff Marls. 

"You are not fucken sorry," Ellen snarled through her teeth. "None of you!" She yelled, so whole Great Hall heard her, and turned their heads towards her. "I just…"

She tried to say something, but than she realized that what ever she says may be too much. She left off. 

She got in the girls' dorminatory, and lay on the bad for hours.

As she entered the hospital, she was instructed to fallow the nurse, so she will get her to see Draco. She was alone there. Some other people wanted to go with her, but she didn't want them to. She wanted to be alone with Draco. 

Ellen entered the hospital room, where Draco was. He was laying on the bad, and staring out of the window. 

"Draco," she said, as she came closer to him. 

He turned his head slowly. He looked bad with eye bags. 

"Ellen," he said, as he stretched his arm to take Ellen's. 

"You bastard," she said thought her teeth. She didn't seem to want to take his hand. 

Draco just sighed. 

"You know that…" Draco tried to explain. 

"I know nothing, except that you are a fucken idiot, with no brain. And you know what? You are stupid, stupid beyond all restrictions." 

"I am," Draco tried to justify himself, but didn't know how. 

"Oh you are," she repeated for herself.

"I took overdose on purpose. I wanted to kill myself." Draco looked away. 

"Did you know that it's unchristian to do that?" She asked, becoming even madder at him. 

"I did. Tell me why do I need my life like this? Sometimes I wish I died. I do," Draco was saying. 

"I knew it," she narrowed her eyes. "You are an idiot Draco Malfoy." 

"I am."

"But I am also one," Ellen said. 

"Yeah you are bigger than me," Draco said to himself. 

"Of course I am, cause I care for such a scum as you are," she said. 

"Ellen, can you kiss me?" He asked her. 

Ellen did so. She bent over him, placing her both hands on his naked chest. She placed her mouth over his, doing the entire job. Draco just lay there, comforted. Then she mover her hands towards his neck, and placed them around it. 

Suddenly Draco brutally turned his head, and left her over the pillow.

"I think that you should go now," said Draco now looking at her at all. 

She felt miserable. She just stormed out of the room, without second glance at Draco. 

Draco was left there alone.

So it past a few months, and Draco felt better. Ellen was mad at him, cause he tried to kill himself by overdosing.

He was supposed to come back soon. 

"Well at least he won't be on drugs anymore, when he comes back." Hildegard tried to make Ellen feel better. 

"What the hell? He won't. He'll still keep taking them. Hildegard you don't' know him. He will still smoke, and take drugs, even if he won't feel need for any of it anymore." Ellen was saying. 

It was a day before Draco was about to be back. Ellen was nervous. She didn't want him to come back. Well she still loved him, but she wasn't sure anymore how good is their relationship. 

When the day finally came, she just got herself ready, and went to her first class. Slytherins had Transfiguration first. 

They were all seated, and as McGonagall started one more of her boring lessons, everybody was wondering where Draco was. He still didn't come. 

Than suddenly in the middle of the class, Draco walked in. Everybody looked to him. Even McGonagall stopped her lesson. Draco stared at the class for a moment, than just silently seat beside Jeff Marls in the forth row. 

McGonagall smiled, and said, not really sounding happy:

"Welcome Draco."

At the same time Ellen just grabbed her backpack, and got out of the classroom, slamming the door. 

"Someone get her," McGonagall said, as she realized what Ellen just did. 

Hildegard stood up to come after her, but as she wanted to exit the classroom, Draco grabbed her arm, and he himself has gone after Ellen. 

He found her on the end of one long corridor. She was walking quickly, and he run towards her. When he got to her, he just touched her shoulders, and in that moment she stopped. 

"Hello Ellen" Draco said.

She turned around to face him. 

"Hello Draco. Do you still think about killing yourself?" She asked him sarcastically. 

"No," Draco said. 

"Good, cause I wanted to do it myself," Ellen sneered sarcastically. 

"Did you know that that's unchristian to do that?" Draco sneered ever more broadly that she did. 

"You are sick."

"You know what?" Draco asked her. "I hate when I have nothing to talk with people."

He said as he placed her in his arms and kissed her.

The end of the third, and final part

So I guess this is the end. It will take me while until I decide to write next story. 

Farewell. 


End file.
